In our society, as moms, we are constantly under a magnifying glass. All failures as a mom are public knowledge and we are quick to judge a mom for her decisions. Yet, when a mom has a success, it becomes a private success. We do not want to hear stories of how your child slept through the night or walked for the first time, but we thrive on the negatives of parenting-who is breastfeeding vs. formula, if they co-sleep, if their kid has a pacifier. This is not to say that people do not do things that harm their children. Your successes AND failures happen when you are trying your best to parent your child(ren).
I have learned so much from my girls, and continue to learn more about myself as a woman, and as a mother on a daily basis. I am so proud of my girls, watching them grow and learn gives me joy I never knew I had. But my successes are NOT without failure. If you think you have never failed as a mom, I am sorry to burst your bubble, you are wrong. To succeed at anything there must first be failure….
- I FAILED at breastfeeding with DD1- I was too young to understand what breastfeeding meant to me and since we had latching issues what to do. When I had LJ, hospitals still gave pacifiers and formula. I had a difficult labor/delivery that ended in a C-section and terrible recovery and they gave her both. We could not establish a latch and I HATED (hey I still HATE pumping haha) so I stopped about 4 weeks in because I was not consistent and gave up.
- I SUCCEEDED my first goal of giving DD2 breastmilk until 4 months- This was my goal for CK. I bf for a little over a month then exclusively pumped until she was 4 months old and had enough milk to get her to 5 months (post on this someday….). Exclusively pumping is hard. Really hard. But this time around, I knew what to expect. I went to a lactation consultant and researched everything I could. I suffered supply issues, despite MANY efforts to increase it and ultimately weaned when I could not regularly pump at work. Some may see this as a failure, but for a mom that struggled to get there, those four months meant everything
- I FAILED at realizing DD1 was lactose sensitive Between pumping/bf issues, a colic baby, and unhelpful doctors, I did not realize LJ had a lactose sensitivity until she was almost 6 months old! I was a young and un-experienced mom who was working 2-3 jobs and going to school full time. I just didn’t know, and that’s ok.
- I SUCCEEDED at sleep training TWO babies- I get it, Ferber method is definitely not for everyone. However, I would not change our decisions to sleep train our girls for the world. Layla was sleep trained using the Ferber Method around 6 months and CK around 2/3 using modified Ferber. Was it easy, absolutely not. Given that PPD/PPA set it with CK when I stopped pumping in November, I would not have survived that time in our lives without a decently sleeping baby.
- I FAILED getting all the right things for DD2- You would think after already having a baby I would have had this figured out- NO. Not only is each child different, but mine were 5 years apart. Hello! Products change in 5 years! Somethings are not even available anymore! I picked out bottles without reading reviews (very unlike me), I bought/received too many newborn clothes, and I HATED our rock and play.
- But I SUCCEEDED because I learned from my error and took note. We originally got Playtex Ventaire bottles ( I just liked them and they “sounded like a good idea”)- They leaked like crazy, were hard to clean the curved bottle, and did not help with air intake. Newborn clothes- well they are just cute and I thought CK would be small like LJ (def. not the case!) And Rock and Plays- Oy Vey! They squish my short little babies up and I worried wayyy to much that they could not breathe!
- I FAILED at losing the baby weight before DD2- Let’s face it, we were just excited to have another baby and I have the rest of my life to lose weight.
- I am trying to SUCCEED in losing the weight before we “think” about having a No3-I changed my eating habits and started the It Works System- lost over 25lbs just from that in 3 months! Then joined the gym, cannot wait to see where my weight-loss journey takes me!
I will do more failure and succeed blogs as I continue to navigate through motherhood and learn more and more each day!